I've got the travel bug again and started planning some getaways, with Chunks, some friends, and possibly a solo trip somewhere. My passport needs to be renewed and I was so excited to finally get Chunks one of his very own (why has it taken me so long I don't know) and then I sat to fill out the application and my heart dropped. You now need the approval of BOTH parents to get a child a passport!!!
So I decided it was time to just settle everything once and for all and file for sole custody (since it's more immediate and less costly/complicated than divorce for me right now). The judge was not very understanding that I had no clue where to find Chunks's father and ordered me to have him served ASAP. I reached out to his sister and she, as always, was very supportive and said I could send the papers to her to have him served, and so I did. Then I get a random phone call saying he would not be signing anything because Chunks is still his son, yadda yadda yadda, bs bs bs. And so, my Co-Parenting/Divorce madness begins...
I've sent him a pretty diplomatic e-mail explaining that custody has nothing to do with paternal rights, even though in a way he gave that up too, and that it would only make legal what I'm already doing which is raising Chunks and giving him all the opportunities he needs. Why the fight now? It's in the Lord's hands and I guess soon the judge's but it's hard not to question how someone who took her time, followed all the steps to not have to go through this drama is STILL going through this drama.
Any tips on handling Co-Parenting while going through
a separation? Prayers please!
12 comments:
Oh my.....prayers, and hugs, and love to you!!!! And Chunks! Hang in there momma!!!
Girl I feel for you. This is just the tip of the iceburg. I am going through a similar & disheartneing situation with Queens Family Crt right now. Because I left the state (facing 2k in back rent, work 6-7 days a week and not being able to afford to live in NYC) the judge is making me WORK and I do mean work when it comes to getting this custody case done. We were never married, his father never lived with us. He just started paying child support in July, yet i have had to pay for the 1 visit we had back to NYC. It is such a mess. I am hoping you have a much better time than I do b/c it is driving me up a wall! My advice HIRE a lawyer ASAP, keep us in the loop and if u have any qs feel free to email me! You are doing the right thing and it will seem like u r gettin penalized, but do what your instincts tell u
I don't have any advice for you. However, I am praying for you. May God give you patience, strength and fortitude to deal with challanges of your journey. May you be constantly loved on, and spiritually replinished by those that love you and count you a friend!
~ Mrs. Mocha @ http.www.foreverinhope.blogspot.com
I am praying hard for you! I too, unfortunately, don't have any advice either.. just sending prayers
Thank you for the well wishes and prayers, def needed right now. @Cicely I don't understand how the courts even have an argument for absentee dads. Like DO WHAT I SAY and let's move on lol
Praying for you!
I am so sorry you have to go through this it's hard men are funny when courts start getting involved been there done that. I hope that the matter can be resolved quickly so that you and your son can move on to bigger and better things.
OMG, Candace. I had no idea you were going through all of this. And to think we talk on twitter so often and I was so oblivious! I feel like such an a--hole! First off, I am SO sorry that you are going through this. There is nothing easy about this ordeal. Nothing. In fact, it can be effing infuriating at times. Trust me on this. I've been there. I know. I was never married to my son's father, but I went through the whole breakup thing, disappearing acts thing, and trying to get his signature on A's passport. Not fun. None of it.
Girl, if you need ANYTHING (and I mean it), hit me up. I am a bus ride away from you. So even if you just need to talk, let me know. Please. I'm praying for you. Know that it's not easy, but this will prepare you to be in a better place and a better situation in due time.
xoxo
I'm so sorry that you are going through this!! I don't have any advice, but prayers are coming your way!
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this...I have no advice for you but I just wanted to leave you a short comment saying I have your back and remind you that you are a great mother.
Passports are a dang pain! I am sorry you're going through this, bought you are strong and you will rock through it all! Wishing you all the best, lady!!!
UGH and annoying!! I'm so sorry you are going through this. It always amazes me that men who don't act like fathers still feel entitled in some way. Like, yeah I get that your dna makes up half of our child's dna, but when you are not around, don't care for them, then that doesn't make you a parent anymore!!!
I had this same issue this summer when I wanted to take my daughter out of the country for my best friends wedding. I knew that I would need his approval so tried my best to play nice...but he was of course sketchy and mysterious, but I tried to reiterate how excited our daughter was with going and she was going to be a flower girl blah blah blah. He finally signed everything.....the MORNING we left to go away...giiiiiirl you dont even KNOW how stressed I am!! Even though I have her passport, when the child travels with one parent, you need a paper accompying the passport with permission from the other parent. I'm also like you trying to plan out trips for next year - and since me and UGH dont talk anymore, I may have to file for sole custody. There are only so many times I can talk to a concrete wall.
Your doing what you gotta do and I applaud you girl. Keep at it. XO
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