Setting a "New" Trend

"Wanna give a shout out to all my young married friends and all who are soon to be! We are making it cool again :-)"

Recently a friend of mine posted this quote as her status on facebook and I couldn't help but smile. A few years ago, I remember turning around and almost everyone was having a baby however in the past year and a half I've noticed something different has happened. The baby boom is back amongst my range of friends, but more than that more of them are getting married! I am 25 years old and I've been with my husband for 4 years and married for almost 2 recently we were invited to celebrate to nuptials of my college roommate and her fiance of almost 4 years. The friend I quoted is the proud mother to two amazing twins and amazing wife to her husband of 3 years. All around they're either doing it or have done it and even with the "youngin" ups and downs are celebrating the fact that they're not a wifey or a shorty to these men, they are their wives! What touches most is when I see the HUSBANDS (that word gives me chills as I write) celebrate their women, in love with the fact that they have someone that has their back at all times, and the pride beams the smile at just the mention of their child's name.

"It's too many black women that can say they mothers but can't say that they wives..."
~Common Sense Retrospect For Life feat. Lauryn Hill

I watch my husband play with our 8 month old and I can't help but fall in love with him all over again. To know that my son will have someone to look up to who will look out for him, love him, encourage him, and show him what a stand up man should be from the crack of dawn to the setting of the sun! He doesn't have to watch tv to get an example of what a man does to support his family, he doesn't have to go outside the home to know what responsibility looks like, and from day one he'll indelibly know how it is that a man is supposed to treat a woman and how that woman is supposed to respond to that treatment. I'm so PROUD of him!

Now, I remember the 1st month of our little one being home and I can't count the amount of times I said "I have so much more respect for the women who had to do this all by themselves"! It was rough! And I can't imagine where you have to look to pull that kind of strength from but I give it to you and I'm proud of all of you who have raised children on your own...

All day I've been hit with articles and conversation of men returning to their families, young black married couples numbers on the rise, and more and more we're celebrating the longevity and strength that comes from a marriage!

Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher

(longest married couple alive 84 YEARS!!!)

So today I just want to highlight my young (and seasoned) married couples for reviving the trend and reminding the world that there's a major strength in a COMPLETE family unit. To those who haven't found it yet, in due time when you're ready it will find you and you won't regret the wait!

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The Top Ten Seasoned Advice for Young Married Couples

1-Get your pride out of the equation and try to see yours and his/her side of the argument.

2-Forget the "Don't Go to Bed Mad" rule, sometimes you need to go to sleep to cool down but don't let the "silent argument" go on for more than the next day.

3-COMMUNICATE!!! Talk it out! Sometimes you won't feel like it but what they don't know, they can't fix!

4-Do not use sex as punishment! It backfires in more ways then one.

5-Go back to what made you friends in the first place. If you went to the movies on Wednesday, or you made him dinner on Sundays in the beginning try to go back to that at least one in a while.

6-Find a common ground to stand on. Be it church, philosophical practices, or yoga. Share something that takes you to another level, it creates a bond like none other.

7-Celebrate the journey but map out the rest.

8-There are 3 people in a marriage. The Husband. The Wife. Your God! NO ONE ELSE! Seek wise counsel but NEVER invite anyone into your relationship, EVER!

9-Be patient! Especially in the early days, it will take a while to feel out each other's quirks but find a way to either alter (ladies read change lol) them or adjust yourself to them. (Ie. Socks on the floor or tools in the bedroom)

10- Remember the Love! Remember that this is your boo, your sweetie, your One and Only. The one person that no matter what has your back and in most cases, YES, even more than your mother! Think back to what made you rush home to see them, remember how excited you got when you knew they were coming over, feel the pitter patters in your heart when their name shows up on the caller id! It truly helps you get over any and everything when it's all said and done.

CONGRATULATIONS to all the newly weds and soon to be's! and CONGRATS to all of you who have done it and are still doing it!